My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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