maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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