Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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