bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
