i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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