I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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