He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
