we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
