Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
