butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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