Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
