watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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