They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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