The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
