sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
