The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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