How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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