ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
