So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
