Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize