Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
