I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
false alarm. still invincible.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
