Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
