I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
