I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize