Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
