plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
