Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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