office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
you made out with another girl for some wings
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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