Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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