Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
