The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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