I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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