drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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