How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize