i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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