If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
