If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
