There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
