I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
