so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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