FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize