If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
