We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
