Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
