Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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