I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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