Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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