it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Hippo gnu deer
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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