no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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