I must be too annoying 4 u.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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