Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
