On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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