i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
