Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
