Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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