It's Friday. Sex?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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