you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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