you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize