What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
