Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
